Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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(503): View more from Oregon

The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.

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(613): View more from Ontario

oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...

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(810): View more from Michigan

I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.

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