her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear