Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub