can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.