he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
