Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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(603): no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us... http://tfl.nu/rs9m

Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (1219)
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(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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(+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w

Replies (16) Good night (4388) Bad night (812)
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(410): View more from Maryland

If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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(410): If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living. http://tfl.nu/sgz4

Replies (9) Good night (3827) Bad night (1060)
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(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(775): So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again. http://tfl.nu/ocrt

Replies (67) Good night (8365) Bad night (2547)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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(479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l

Replies (13) Good night (1062) Bad night (5084)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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(608): May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in. http://tfl.nu/2att

Replies (6) Good night (3783) Bad night (1084)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...

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(+44): i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now... http://tfl.nu/kqc9

Replies (12) Good night (5360) Bad night (1054)
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(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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(917): You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door. http://tfl.nu/b3vl

Replies (8) Good night (2412) Bad night (1221)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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(204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr

Replies (3) Good night (1760) Bad night (950)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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(651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w

Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (865)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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(313): Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6tbn

Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (847)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES

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(301): Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES http://tfl.nu/onhh

Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (389)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex

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(919): His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex http://tfl.nu/w8o8

Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (301)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"

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(651): I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed" http://tfl.nu/zgbl

Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (461)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.

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(+61): You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/xuxz

Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (179)

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