Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Ew you even made it your fb status

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Ppl probably think ur having a kid

(847): View more from Illinois

I hope

(847): View more from Illinois

Love having children with random chicks

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(847): I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1-847): Ew you even made it your fb status (1-847): Ppl probably think ur having a kid (847): I hope (847): Love having children with random chicks http://tfl.nu/8sqv

Replies (3) Good night (1446) Bad night (1014)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu

Replies (13) Good night (3821) Bad night (656)
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(360): View more from Washington

The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

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(360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy... http://tfl.nu/q7uq

Replies (14) Good night (1133) Bad night (2343)
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(646): View more from New York

He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.

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(646): He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season. http://tfl.nu/dtjf

Replies (11) Good night (3556) Bad night (1132)
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(513): View more from Ohio

both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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(513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7

Replies (22) Good night (1748) Bad night (7260)
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(319): View more from Iowa

We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.

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(319): We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like. http://tfl.nu/8dbs

Replies (10) Good night (3211) Bad night (1316)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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(603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz

Replies (7) Good night (2639) Bad night (801)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,

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(413): Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you..., http://tfl.nu/l3w4

Replies (14) Good night (1296) Bad night (547)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Am I going to be on condom boxes?

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(803): You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time. (1-803): Am I going to be on condom boxes? http://tfl.nu/pwx5

Replies (3) Good night (2251) Bad night (416)
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(845): View more from New York

From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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(845): From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend. http://tfl.nu/h8l3

Replies (12) Good night (399) Bad night (1332)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.

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(812): Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords. http://tfl.nu/1djr

Replies (4) Good night (1893) Bad night (473)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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(780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93

Replies (11) Good night (980) Bad night (320)
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(914): View more from New York

Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?

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(914): Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what? http://tfl.nu/ebld

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (279)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this

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(218): my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/wrij

Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (284)
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(317): View more from Indiana

My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.

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(317): My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication. http://tfl.nu/vmvq

Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (214)

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