after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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