I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
