She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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