I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I understand Curling. That high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize