I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
