No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
