I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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