At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize