Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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