So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
