Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
