He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
