i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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