I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
