Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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