At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
