Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
