I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Couch. On fire.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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