So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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