What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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