And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize