What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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