people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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