I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
