There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
