all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
