I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how drunk are you?
Several
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
