I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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