Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
