She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
