Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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