so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
