piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
