My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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