yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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