You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
