And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize