I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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