My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
