party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just high enough for therapy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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