i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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