i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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