So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it because I queefed?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
