Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
