I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
