Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
