You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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