This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
