I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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