All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
