I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dicks are not precious.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
