Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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