Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
