Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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