How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
