Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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